


Dangerous Footwear

by SleepingReader



Category: Coco (2017), Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossover, F/M, In which Imelda uses a Discworld quote, Sort Of, please read Discworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:05:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingReader/pseuds/SleepingReader
Summary: Imelda gets annoyed by a drunk while at a restaurant. Héctor wants to jump in, but it seems Imelda has this covered.In which I use a quote by my favourite author to try and get people into reading Discworld.Read Discworld, everyone!





	Dangerous Footwear

As Héctor walked into the restaurant he was supposed to meet Imelda, he saw her already waiting for him at a table, reading a book. A drunken man staggered toward the pretty woman, leering drunkenly at her and sitting down.

‘ _Holaaa_   _bonita_ , how about going back to my house? Promise I’ll make it _buy bien_ for you...’

Imelda gave him a very brief look, and shook her head. There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Probably only he and Héctor heard Imelda purr:

‘What is sticking in your foot is a homemade ‘Imelda Rivera” four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it’s like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking, “Could she press it all the way through to the floor?” And, you know, I’m not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But that’s not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and I have another shoe. Good, I can see you have worked that out. I’m going to withdraw the heel now.’

There was a small ‘pop’ from under the table. With great care the man stood up, turned and, without a backward glance, lurched unsteadily away. Héctor glanced at the front of the book.  _Going Postal,_ the title said. 

‘Can I bother you?’ said Héctor. Imelda nodded, and he sat down, with his legs crossed.

‘He was only a drunk,’ he ventured.

‘Yes, men say that sort of thing,’ said Imelda, closing her book. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really want those shoes.
> 
> This quote is not mine, it's from a marvellous book by Terry Pratchett, called 'Going Postal'.  
> DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TERRY PRATCHETT, I NEVER WILL BE TERRY PRATCHETT. I SIMPLY ADORE TERRY PRATCHETT'S BOOKS. 
> 
> I just think it REALLY suited Imelda.


End file.
